Arsenal can save Everton with shock bid for Premier League’s worst to solve goalscoring woes

Ahead of the defeat to Aston Villa, David Moyes laid down the gauntlet to Dominic Calvert-Lewin, who should p*ss off now in a bid to save Everton from relegation.

Ally McCoist managed to hide his mirth and gave a diplomatic answer on talkSPORT when an Arsenal fan suggested Calvert-Lewin as a left of left-field option to ease the Gunners’ goalscoring woes. “I’m not sure his goalscoring record would indicate that he’s Arsenal’s first choice,” he said. “I’d still say his goal ratio should be better.” Not half.

Since his 16-goal 2020/2021 season, when the Arsenal links started and made sense, Calvert-Lewin has scored 17 Premier League goals – less than Mohamed Salah has managed so far this season – in 85 games, at a rate of a goal every 360 minutes. This season he’s scored two goals in 1479 minutes and hasn’t found the net in his last 16 games, 14 of which he’s started.

And yet, that shocking goalscoring record doesn’t seem to matter to suitors focused entirely on the winning combination of Calvert-Lewin being a) a striker, and b) available.

Chelsea and Arsenal were credited with interest in the summer, with Bournemouth and West Ham now among those keeping tabs on the 27-year-old, who – unbelievably – is set for a big move to a superior club, either now if they stump up a nominal fee, or in the summer at the end of his contract, at which point he will get a big entirely undeserved signing on bonus.

His new manager laid down the gauntlet ahead of the game against Aston Villa. “I think we all feel he could be the one who could make a big difference,” said Moyes. “But I’ve told him that I’m needing goals off him right away and he has to start delivering.”

He didn’t. He had two shots in the first half here – his 38th and 39th in the Premier League this season – both of them scuffed after good runs and decent first touches, both prompting claims of misfortune from the TNT Sports pundits working on the game, who refuse to call a spade a spade and the worst finisher in the Premier League the worst finisher in the Premier League; a reality that will surely finally have dawned on them in the 93rd minute.

Ollie Watkins showed Calvert-Lewin how to do it soon after half-time, racing onto a perfectly delivered through ball from Morgan Rogers before sliding his shot under Jordan Pickford. That goal increased his relatively poor return this season to eight, but as was pointed out on commentary “his worth to the team goes far beyond goals” – an oft-used and formerly valid excuse for Calvert-Lewin failing to hit a barn door with a banjo.

He’s created just 19 shot-creating actions this season. That’s fewer than nine of his Everton teammates, including James Tarkowski (25) and Jesper Lindstrom (29), who’s featured for just 660 minutes. No Everton player has a worse pass percentage, with his 62.8% the same as ball-launcher Jordan Pickford. He’s not in the top 100 players in the Premier League for percentage of aerial duels won, losing over half of them.

It’s got to the point now where his only worth to the team is his work rate, which is admittedly in the Can’t Criticise category as he chases down lost causes and makes runs that frequently go unnoticed by his teammates. But that’s obviously not enough.

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Which will be Moyes’ takeaway with regard to his whole team’s performance on Wednesday, with his team lacking anywhere near enough forward thrust against a Villa side that was there for the taking after five consecutive away defeats. It felt like Unai Emery’s side would have crumbled had they come under any sort of pressure. But it never really arrived, with Calvert-Lewin’s stoppage time opportunity a surprise when it arrived.

What a chance. Lindstrom – who had made a difference from the bench – got in behind the Villa defence and squared the ball for Calvert-Lewin to balloon over the bar from the edge of the six-yard box. It was bobbled to him, but any Premier League striker worthy of that title should be finishing that chance, and if not that one then definitely the next.

Calvert-Lewin won’t because – whether down to confidence or quality – he’s been missing those for three-and-a-half seasons, from the point when links with a move first emerged; links that somehow still remain and Everton should encourage with gusto, because any money they can get from Arsenal, West Ham or whomever else can be used immediately to sign someone more capable, who can score the goals to save them from relegation.